Yesterday got so much better. I was so happy by the end of the night I thought I would burst. My head was literally shining on the inside, everywhere I looked bright lights and a halo of happy.

Mr Fantastic got his new job. Clever boy! I knew he would, how could anyone meet him and NOT be blown away? He’s the most likeable, friendly, charming, lovable, gorgeous man. I’m floored daily by the fact he has an EX WIFE and that she let him go. I’m glad she did mind, but what a silly, silly woman. She should have kept him and treated him like a king. He deserves no less. So. I’m loved up. And I’m happy. Like really happy. Like so happy I’m driving home smiling. My face hurts because I’ve spent all my time with him smiling. That’s what he does to me. He makes everything better, brighter, just.. more. He makes it all more. 

This morning.. maybe less happy. I woke up in a great mood, thanks to a rather lovely dream I was having (thanks Mr Fantastic for that one). And then… my cup of tea was too cold. I put too much milk in it. No biggie but not quite right. I started my jobs early. Tidy house. And then… Kids and tantrums and complications for the weekend. Real life brought me back with a bump. Jack has told me he hated me within 5 minutes of getting up, thrown the Hoover and several other things. Maya has the huff because she stole the laptop first thing and had been taken off it – again. Victoria had the huff because she has to wait to watch a film she wants to watch. And the big boys are sleeping. Abraham is fine so long as he can potter about.. so far. 

The weekend. Superdad is supposed to be taking the kids from Friday to Sunday like he usually does. But all week he’s been off about it. Not giving me any definite dates or times. Just saying no he probably can’t. It makes me think he just doesn’t want them. In fact I know he doesn’t want them he just doesn’t want to say so. It’s bugging me. I like to plan. I like to know what’s going on. And I can’t, because it’s Friday and I still don’t know how long the children are going for. I can’t even pack their things. It’s beyond ridiculous and is winding me up and up and up… as I suspect it’s supposed to. Because let’s be honest here, he knows exactly how I’ll react to everything and he knows precisely what to do to achieve maximum effect for minimum effort- and he’ll make the minimum effort for each and everything going. 

I hope today gets better. Of course it will but… faith. I need to have faith.