I’m tired. It’s all hitting me at once and I don’t want to deal with any of it. After what has been the best 9 days of my life I’m crashing. Weekends with grumpy kids and too much laundry and depression battering me and I’m kind of sinking. Not much but more than I have this past week or so.
I slept and it wasn’t too bad; I was awake super early as always but I just tried to take it easy. The house is tidy ish, there are a few loads of washing on the line, it’s not completely awful.
But I feel like I could sleep for a week. I’m worn out. My head hurts and my heart hurts and I just want to disappear and sleep for a week. Until next weekend when I get to actually see Mr Fantastic for more than a few hours. I love him you know, maybe I haven’t mentioned that.
Totally made myself smile then. He makes me smile. Just thinking of his face. Maybe that’s what I need to do. Think of him and look at our pictures and just be. Be kind to myself and take a little step back and understand that this depression comes with its bumps and turns and it can’t always be kissed away.
I’m going to go food shopping, I’m going to eat something and I’m going to come home and lay on the couch and nap. It’s a beautiful day and maybe when I wake up I’ll feel like celebrating that. Until then, I’m going to have an easy day.
I hope you have a good weekend too.