I’m not sure quite what burnout means or how it relates to me personally. I mean in the general sense, I get it. But in the personal sense I don’t.
I suspect my symptoms (for want of a better word) have the past few weeks/months/however long, been attributed to burnout due to no time off, no respite, no rest.
Maybe in a general sense, yes. But on the most personal level, I’m not sure that I’m completely there yet. In the fullest sense of the word. Does it not mean to be burned out, an empty shell, nothing left to give? Because even on my worst days I still get up and get doing and see to the children and give.
Burnout to me implies not being able to do any of these things. And on those days where I can’t, I still can, because I do. I’m kind to myself and I hold the weight of my expectations lightly so in my very worst, emptiest moments there is still something. So maybe I’ve not burned out yet.
Or maybe I’m a candle. I go out, I come back again. An eternal wick.