1) I take pictures of everything. I document everything my children and I do as a family.

2) I’m keeping count of how many books I read this year. I thought it would be interesting. So far I’m at 13. (Update, end of June, 33)

3) I never used to laugh out loud at anything funny (like on tv). I used to watch everything in dead silence. 

4) I stopped dancing when I was 15. My sister mocked me at a party and I never danced after that…

5) …until I went to a music festival. Eden. I danced again, until the early hours of the morning, for the first time in 16 years. 

6) I love to read. And I love to write.

7) I want to have someone to just sit with. Watch tv and hold hands

8) I’m prone to nightmares. I get a lot of between-waking-and-sleeping nightmares. 

9) I once trained myself to pick up spiders with my bare hands. (I have arachnophobia). I can’t do it anymore. 

10) I’m terrified of vets

11) I don’t like birds, rabbits, or horses. They’re all weird and creepy. 

12) I can’t grow long hair. It breaks when it gets to my shoulders and ends up hugely damaged and split.

13) Three of my children have special needs. (Update end of July, five of the six appear to have SEN)

14) I think I’m not a very good mother anymore. Im reactive. I don’t have the patience I had even 5 years ago. It’s all gone.

15) I wish I was as thin as when I thought I was fat. Any of those times would do. I’d take that body over this any day.

16) My favourite intimate thing to do is to kiss someone. I could do kissing for hours.

17) I spent over a year not shaving my body hair. I loved every minute. I shaved maybe 3 times the following year.

18) I have a passion for Elvis (’68 onwards) and gave it as a middle name to my last baby. 

19) I get migraines. They are usually hormonal 

20) My best friend and I used to play ‘thigh wars’ whenever we got drunk

21) The person I used to consider my very best friend secretly told people we were in a relationship. And didn’t attend my wedding. We’re not friends anymore. 

22) My brother and sister used to play tricks on me. They once caught a huge spider and put it under my pillow. When I went to bed it crawled out.

23) My very first ‘own’ thing that I was allowed to choose was a pillow from my grandma and grandads caravan. It had big painted flowers on it and I adored it. 

24) I don’t know if I ‘have standards’ or if I’m just desperate not to be judged

25) I’d love to travel but have never been in an aeroplane 

26) I don’t think I have enough things to go on this list

27) I often see things that aren’t there. I blink, readjust my vision and it’s usually okay

28) I spent years thinking my sisters dead dads ghost was whispering in my ear as I fell asleep. I was terrified every night. 

29) I couldn’t sleep without sound and noise until I was 32. Then I trained myself to sleep without either. 

30) I don’t want any more children but only because I don’t think my other children would cope with a baby. Much as I would like to see them lose themselves in love, I think it would be a difficult transition – but I’d love another.

31) I sometimes have an overwhelming need to paint, or write, or draw. When the urge is satisfied it can be months before I feel it again.

32) I long for waist length, thick hair. Mine has never been past my shoulders.

33) If I could change my life, I would

34) I have two tattoos. I want so many more

35) I have a couple piercings. I think I would like many more but whenever I mention getting more on my face, everyone (children included) say no, please don’t

36) All I want is the freedom to love and be loved in return. No conditions. 

37) My favourite peanut butter is Skippys smooth

38) I love pancakes!

39) I used to be so ticklish I peed my pants every time 

40) I spent my childhood outside, making my own fun. I’m surprised I didn’t end up in the hospital on at least 3 occasions that I remember. 

41) I’m pretty sure I have dyspraxia and that’s where the children get it from

42) I often have bad dreams. Often like, all night long for weeks on end. This is one of those weeks.

43) I’m starting to think that real love doesn’t exist. I don’t doubt love but I doubt the ability of others to love me that way. Selflessly.

44) I’m glad I reached adulthood. Now I have to work on being young again.

45) I love Doctor Who. From the 9th doctor up. 

46) I first read LOTR when I was 11. I read it every year after that right up until I was 30

47) I was invited to attend nursing at university but I declined my place.

48) I would love to have someone cook for me. Like a proper, real effort meal

49) I spend a lot of my time perplexed, bamboozled, confuddled. 

50) I made it to 50! Again (but phew it was hard this time) 

Would you please do some or just one? Feels kind of lonely out here.