We’ve had a birthday today. Im now the proud mama bear to a 3, a 6, an 8, a 10, a 15 and a 17 year old. Its been a helluva day!

Mostly I’ve just hung on for the ride while the children created a tornado around me. 

They’re happy though. And it’s soon to be bedtime and peace. I’m going to watch Dr Strange and get a pizza with my two big boys. Sod the diet, it’s not like I stuck to it all weekend anyway.

My mental state has been somewhat shaky this weekend. I’ve been low level panicking for most of it and have been much in need of my beta blockers. However a phone call from my dad and then one from my mum, and family coming round to celebrate the birthday boy has helped me centre myself a little bit and realise that although we may feel alone and isolated at times. When we need them, they are sometimes there. And that’s nice to know. And nice to feel.

I’m still shaky and I’m still low level anxiety-ing. But I feel like it won’t develop further – for tonight anyway. It’s time to be kind to myself and rest. Goodnight from all of us ❤

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