..and isn’t that festive? 

He apologised, I accepted, were back on – of sorts – and although it’s not marvellous it could be right? It could be ok. It could also not be. 

But hey, who am I to hold back? This is me and I’m nothing if I’m not my everything. I AM all or nothing and if he wants me he can have all of me or none of me. I expect no less in return. 

As I get older I get less patient, less inclined to put up with certain behaviours that years ago I’d have made excuses for: not now. One thing this year did for me was teach me to say no more. Not for me, not over me, not at me. I will not accept less than I deserve. 

I’m a woman and I carry my demons with me. They are my survival, and my trophy. I beat them, I carry them, I sometimes get dragged down by them. But I own them. They don’t own me. And neither will any man.