Three things tried to kill me today.

The first thing was a potential heart attack masquerading as an accidental culinary masterpiece. I cooked sausages in the pan I used to cook sausages yesterday. Said pan ended up being so full of sausage fat that my lightly fried sausages ended up deep fried in a skillet. Dangerously junk-foody yummy, but I survived.

The second thing was my baby. Toddler boy is always trying to kill me. A general daily assassination attempt is to be expected; today was on the general theme of throwing things at my head of which he is a crack shot; leaving toys on the stairs and being so adorable I could cry. Although a wooden Ark hitting your head at speed can be really quite painful. That lessens the adora-tears somewhat.. He tried to drown me in puddles of runny green mucous whenever I tried to wipe his nose so that his face was visible through the curtain of snot but the less said about that the better. Tantrums + snot = eww.


The third thing was my afternoon tea. Scones and Ribena. Not the most ideal of items to breathe in; especially together. I was nomming away happily until my breath hitched in my throat. I then went beetroot and spent the next 15 minutes coughing. Scared everyone, including myself. It was unpleasant – and messy! Snot and spit and scones everywhere. I might’ve peed a little.. And laid a tiny air biscuit. I did manage not to spill my Ribena though.

I’m not going to count Toria Belles wind as trying to kill me today – even if it could’ve rendered the population of a small country unconscious at thirty paces. With breathing apparatus. Phew she was wicked today! And obviously thought it hilarious. Her giggles were almost worth the bile in my throat. Almost.


That’s one more Monday out of the way. I managed to survive it and go on to an evening of GCSE revision with Noodle, tidying and talking with everyone else and generally being mama. It was good actually, quite uneventful. It was quite nice.


I am a happy content mama right now and I love my little fambly. Warts and crusty bits and bad smells and all.